Do not send your child to football camp

And expect that same child back. You'll send a perfectly amicable, mostly pleasant, moderately clean child TO camp. At the end of the day you will receive BACK a perfectly exhausted, completely grumpy, extremely stinky child.

A child so tired and crabby he will walk through the door and collapse onto the couch. A child who believes he needs a nap before he can make it the rest of the way through the house and to the shower. A child who accuses you of being lazy because his favorite pair of shorts is dirty and he's forced to OPEN his dresser drawers (or wherever he's keeping his clothes these days) and find something else to wear. A child that thinks expecting him to be able to do his chores or anything else in the same day as football camp is near to child abuse. A child that can no longer find a happy or civil sentence in his entire brain. A child who believes being forced to listen to your stupid ol' chanting music, because he's too tired to escape it by going to his room (or hey, maybe a shower), is cruel and unusual punishment.

Also, do not send him again the next day, naively expecting that he's "adjusted" to the getting up early and exercising for hours in the sun and heat. He hasn't. In fact, he will have less reserves then he did the first day. It will not be BETTER the next day when he returns home from camp.

I've been forced to make plans to go out with my friend Shelly tonight to avoid going completely insane.

I repeat:

Do NOT send your child to football camp.