Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Reality is relative

I haven't posted in a few days because I've been angry at blogger for losing a couple of my posts. I've stewed and pouted about it but am beginning to suspect that maybe it wasn't two posts, but just one, and I imagined the other one. And the one I DO remember writing - perhaps I forgot to save it to draft or publish it. I don't know. Maybe. I hate not being sure, and the confusion has been flying around my head for the last couple of days driving me nuts. More nuts. Okay, I'll stop now. Before I scare off all my readers, who probably expect at least a minimum of sanity from their blog writers.

So, just take my word for it, it was a lovely post, about the weather. Sigh. Let's move on.

Do I have anything else to say today? I don't know. I'm feeling a bit confuddled. You know how sometimes you have a few mental threads hanging loose.... okay, on top of my comments in the first paragraph, I'm not painting a very good picture of myself today, am I. Let me rephrase that.... You know how sometimes you have little pieces of unfinished information that nag at you and make you feel like you're, well, unfinished? Like when you go into a room and you get there and you stop and think and can't remember why you are there? Or when someone says remember that guy who used to run the hardware store, what was his name? And you go "Oh yeah.... Artie. Artie someone.... starts with a B.... Baker.... no, that's not it... Ba....." and you try and you try until your head hurts but you can't remember and you know it will do know good to keep trying because you already know it will be two days from now and you'll be driving down main street and suddenly it will pop into your head - so give it up. Move on. But you can't. Or you know how you have to ask your husband a question, but you keep forgetting to ask him, and he keeps going off to work, where he doesn't have phone access, so you have to wait for him to get home to ask him, so you keep trying to remember, but it's no good, you'll forget when he gets home, and remember again tomorrow when it's too late and he's already back at work.


That's what my brain feels like today. A big ball of yarn that, if you try to pull the end and make something useful out of it, it jams, and when you fix it, it knots even more. So you give up and try to pull from the other end, but that side won't work either, it knots. So now you have no sides left and you might as well give up on this analogy and go have something to drink, alcoholic is fine, since your brain isn't working well anyway.


I'm going out to Mexican food with my friend Shelly tonight. That's something to look forward to at least. I'll just muddle through the day until then and try not to think to hard. I might make things worse.


Post a Comment

<< Home