Halfway Through

Yesterday was my birthday. Sam called me up yesterday. "Happy Birthday Mom. So, how old are you today?"

"I'm 52."

"Oh, so you're halfway through then."

I like his attitude. I'd like to think that I'm only halfway through this adventure. Although, lately, I've been feeling old and creaky. I feel bogged down and clogged up. I know there are others with a lot more physical complaints than me but the ones I've been dealt still frustrate and distract me and wear me down.

I had one of "Aha!" and "Duh!" moments this morning. You know what I mean. A thought, clue, conclusion that's literally as plain as the nose on my face, that I should have realized long ago, but just now figured out. Ha ha - I guess that makes sense now that I see the words I typed - "plain as the nose on my face". Since my nose is part of the problem. My nose hasn't been plain. It's been blocked with these nasal polyps. My sinuses are clogged. My thinking is fuzzy. No wonder I missed it both physically and figuratively.

That "aha" moment? That it's really eerie how much my outside mess matches my inside mess.
The epiphany is a treasure. It helps me be more determined to clean up my mess and reclaim my life. I think that's what 2009 is gonna be all about.

As for my birthday. It was nice. It was quiet. Not in the "hiding under the covers" way that the holidays were and not in a forgotten or "got lost in the shuffle" way. I just didn't feel like making a big to-do. All my family remembered to call, which is always the most important thing.

I didn't get any presents, at my request. There's nothing I really need or want that I didn't get for Yule. Instead I wanted to keep to our belt tightening so we'll be in better financial shape if we want to do something or buy something or need something later in the year. (And we thought maybe the plumbing issues weren't going to be as big an expense as we first thought, but it turns out, sigh, yes, they will be.) My mom sent me a check and that was perfect because I wanted to buy a few new books I'm not likely to find second hand.

Hubby made a cake - and then one of the cats immediately ate the top off of it because he left it uncovered in the kitchen.

So he took me out to lunch instead. And I had a creme brulee wish. I got to blow out a candle three separate times over the last few days. Always the same wish. Of course I can't tell you what, or it won't come true.

The creme brulee was wonderful. This is the first place I ever tried it and it's still, having sampled it many other places now, the only place that does it well. The deliciousness came at a price. I got what I thought was a sugar headache after eating it. But now, following one of the theories I'm pondering, I wonder if it wasn't all the dairy in it. I'm wondering if what I thought was a mild dairy allergy that I had under control isn't minor but, instead, a bigger dairy allergy that's causing a lot of my sinus issues. I'm thinking it might be time to go on some sort of cleansing diet and get some answers.

ARGHHHHH! My f**king dog won't stop barking!!! He's old and... well, I've already whined this whine before. He can't really hear himself bark. And he has a memory about two inches long. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what else to do! My neighbors probably all hate me. It's gotten to the point where I just leave the house to get away from it every day.

Well, that wasn't the way I had planned to end this post.

Sigh.