Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Just Checkin' In

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I've been... er, distracted. Busy.

OKAY, OKAY! Honest truth?

I've been wooed away by other web lovers. I've been all Twitter-pated and kissy face with Facebook. I'm sorry. It's just, they're new. And easy. I mean, I'M not easy. At least, I have my standards. But I mean, they are less time consuming. No, wait. They certainly aren't that! I mean there's more immediate gratification in the little quips and tweets.

And they're more like talking with someone instead of talking AT someone. Like here. Not that I don't enjoy my own voice. I *blush* find myself incredibly amusing usually. I alternate back and forth between finding myself witty and wise and finding myself boring and repetitive. "Look where I went!" "Look what I ate!" "Look at my new bling!" Sigh. But occasionally I'm worth the read I guess, or the halls at this here blog would be far more echoey and unvisited.

And Flickr too, has distracted me. Flickr is not a new fling, he's an old love of mine actually, who's been ignoring ME Which I DO NOT LIKE. So suddenly I'm dancing and winking and cooking him his favorite foods and going to parties with him, in an effort to get him to lurvvvve me again.

But, I haven't forgotten you. In fact, I'm insanely thinking of starting a third blog. I've got this one for every day rambles, the studio blog which is theoretically for artistic bits and bobs - supposedly of my own making but more often just other pretties I like. The third blog idea is for words.

Well, there are words on the other two blogs also. I mean, for writing and poetry and word games and editing and all that WRITER stuff. Cuz' theoretically I am a writer. A part of me is a writer anyway. I've had the blog name reserved for years but didn't want to start it up until I was sure I could sustain it in at least a small, consistent way.

I'm still not sure if I'm ready to sustain anything new, since I'm doing such a patchy job of sustaining all the plates I've got spinning in my life already, but I still think I'm gonna jump in. How's that for throwing multiple metaphors into one sentence. Or are they similes? One uses like or as, one doesn't. Can never remember which is which. Or do I mean analogies. Damn.

Completely new topic - I had no idea how many times a day I thought of or did something for my old dog Buck. I mean, life with him had a lot of complications because of his age and physical issues. I guess I'd done a lot of it by routine and didn't think about it as I was doing it, because I keep bumping up against the habit of thinking or doing something for him and finding it isn't necessary anymore. I'm passing the window by his kennel, I should look out and check on.... oh, nevermind brain. I should make some extra oatmeal for.... oh, nevermind brain. I wonder if he'd like these new chew... oh, nevermind. It's time to let him in for.... sigh.

My life is suddenly a lot easier and it makes me feel, well, guilty. I guess. He had finished his last pill for his joints the night before he died. And he was almost finished with his dog food. We were going to have to take down his kennel fence for work in the back yard in a few weeks, and I was still trying to figure out how to make that work. We were going to take him with us down to San Diego a week after that and I was trying to plan out extra time and space for him and worried about how he'd make the journey (but knew we couldn't leave him home alone like we could when he was younger.) It seems sort of noble of him to "time" his death in such a way as to least inconvenience us. His personality was so richly "what can I do for you?", "how can I please you!?" that he even passed away in a way that was all about us and not about him. Sigh.

We had our ups and downs with figuring out how to accomodate him as he aged and I'm just so grateful that we were on a really good routine with lots of happy, in the groove, doggy grins. If we'd been in a downswing, like earlier this winter when he went completely deaf I guess, and he couldn't hear himself bark, but he tried all the time anyway.. that was hard. If he'd gone then, I would have felt really guilty because I was so frustrated with him at the time. I'm so glad we figured out answers to all the problems one by one instead of just staying frustrated.

I'm just rambling.

I'll let you know if and when I get the other blog up and running.

Now I have to go do mighty works of housewifeliness and and brave shopping quests for the holy purity of OxyClean and the rich green of lettuce. And other stuff.


Blogger JulieZS said...

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about Buck's passing. He always sounded like such a sweetie dog.

10:22 PM  

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