Thursday, September 22, 2005

Bloggers Block

Why, for a person who loves to talk and write a lot (ask anyone!), am I having such a hard time keeping my blog up to date!? I'm not sure. Maybe, by the time I'm done with my e-mail, I get restless to get off the computer. Actually, no. I don't get "restless" to get off the computer very often - I get restless about being noticed by my family being on the computer and thinking I'm spending too much time there. Okay, never mind, yes I do get restless on the computer - I think of all sorts of things I want to be doing instead. But when I get off, then I feel exhausted just thinking about them, and think it's a good idea to go check my mail again.

But, that's not to say I don't do anything but sit on the computer. I have a far too effective guilt producing mind to do that. In fact, lately, I've been a downright busy little bee. Autumn tends to do that to me.

Part of my newly bubbling well of domesticity comes from having my gardens ready to harvest. It always makes me feel productive in a back-to-the-land sort of way. I mean, I worked on planting this stuff long ago in the spring and then, this year, like most years, got so busy I all but abandoned the gardens all summer, and then amazingly enough, there's still food out there for me to pick, put in pretty baskets, eat fresh or just set it out on the counters to enjoy the visual, and sometimes I even get around to putting some of it up for further satisfaction in the cold and dark of some future wintry day. The last few days I've picked peaches, apples, tomatoes, eggplant and a few onions. I've got a full basket full of grapes to still take off the vine as well. Not a LARGE harvest, but maybe that's part of the pleasure. There isn't more then I can handle this year.

The other day I made jam - I wanted to can it, because it seems more impressive somehow and because I don't have much room in my freezer - but I couldn't find my canning gear, so I cheated and made freezer jam. Still, it's tasty - apricot jam made with apricots from a friend's apricot tree. I wonder if she's got more to spare - I'm thinking of drying some too. I also made all sorts of homemade goodies to eat and we've been enjoying them for a few days now, stopping the flow of hard earned cash to our local restaurants.

I impulsively cleaned up a lot of the backyard. Wow, it looks great! As in, NOT a garbage dump anymore. And did some major trimming on our apple tree. I know, not the typical tree trimming season, but it didn't have a very good harvest this year (as in, maybe a dozen apples) and I think it needed some TLC. That and Jeff and William kept bonking their heads on the low hanging branches.

Even more amazing then me cooking and cleaning (yep, been doing some of the latter too), is me sewing! I've spent several evenings working on art and quilt projects and am amazed to discover that this phenomenon - the actually moving of hands and working of tools and thinking of brain cells, creates REAL RESULTS. Not imaginary results - of which I have so many that my brain is clogged with all my imaginary accomplishments (which might actually be part of the reason i don't get much done in real time) - but REAL results - things you can hold up, even if they're not completely finished yet, and say "Lookee at what I did!"

Another by-product of REAL WORK, other then REAL RESULTS, is REAL MOMENTUM. Work begets work begets work. Of course there's a natural swing to this sort of thing. Eventually you reach the top of that momentum, like a kid on a swing going up, up, up, and there's a pause while the world changes direction. While we're using this happy-kid-on-a-swing analogy, in real life that pause is more accurately called by it's true name - an INTERUPTION. This interuption might be a trip, a logjam of yucky jobs, a phone call asking if you'll work snack bar, a sad kid in need of focus, a shift in internal hormonal levels, or even a really good night of back to back to back television shows. But whatever the pause (interuption, distraction, roadblock, family need...), it's the point at which one's momentum, or at least MY momentum, changes direction. And then instead of work giving birth to baby works, sloth begets sloth beget sloth. Not that I truly think I'm slothlike. But it was wittier to say sloth three times then to describe the process more accurately and say something like "Distraction begets change of direction begets overwhelmness begets mental and physical exhaustion begets eating large quantities of carbohydrates begets working on imaginary successes. In artistic and psychological circles, folks have found a way to describe this as if it's a GOOD thing. It's called "down" time. Or "recharging your batteries." Or "spending time in a state of receptive calm, allowing oneself to do the REAL work of self that takes place below the surface". Yeah, that last one sounds really good. I'll go with that one. Fortunately, I don't think I need to use that excuse quite yet. I'm still in the upward swing of things here, still got a few accomplishments in me.

Oh, and speaking of autumn, it's the autumnal equinox today. A day that speaks of balance - how clever of me to write a post about that very thing - wish I'd known that was what I was doing -but hey, I'll take the credit.

Happy Mabon everyone.


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