Saturday, August 25, 2007

Good Walls and Bad Walls

Lately I've been feeling up against a wall. A physical wall. A time wall. An emotional wall. It's all interwoven, blocks my way, and keep me going in circles which makes part of me unhappy and frustrated but still circling because another part of me doesn't have the energy to break through into uncharted territory. I could go on about but it's sad and personal and would probably come across whiny. I assume eventually even I will get bored with my story, and climb over, around, or perhaps find a door through the wall, but for now I'm stuck. Eating chocolate. Surfing the internet. Sighing. Stepping around my mess.

Speaking of uncharted territory, I have it in my head to read through a stack of books I've gathered about the psychology of place, the psychology of travel. I picked one to start with at random, A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit.

I am deeply satisfied with the read but it started out a bit rocky. It wasn't exactly what I had been expecting it to be and I read the first chapter or two silently chastising it to "get to the point" or even to HAVE a point. Eventually, like any good journey, I let go of worrying about direction and destination and just settled in to enjoy the trip. I haven't been interested in reading nonfiction en masse for years. It intrigues me that I feel compelled to do so now and I'm curious about where this particular reading "trip" will take me.

Speaking of trips, I can't decide. Hubby wants to go somewhere that requires a passport next spring. I get to decide. Mostly. He's nixed a few of my ideas (Greece, Angkor Wat, Montreal) but is excited about others. At this point it's narrowed down to two weeks divided between Paris and "other French locations" or two weeks divided between Ireland and southwestern England (southern Wales, Cornwall). I can't decide. I've been telling friends, starting with "My life is sooooo difficult!" and then explaining my dilemma in a dramatic whine while feigning a look both confused and forlorn. My hope is it will discourage people from slapping me for being a spoiled brat.

Originally I had my heart set on Paris. I want to go back there sooooo badly! But the thought of going some place new appeals too. I can't decide!!!! See! My life really IS difficult! (Paris is winning at the moment. Anyone know a good way to learn to speak French without access to a class?) Or maybe I'll try to talk hubby into staying home (not hubby staying home, I mean BOTH of us staying home) and remodeling the kitchen instead. Not that I'd prefer to remodel my kitchen, blech, but it seems like a responsible thing to do.

Yesterday was our 17th wedding anniversary. We "celebrated" by driving four hours to a football scrimmage event, sitting on the side of a hot, muggy, weedy, inhospitable dirt berm to watch football played in practice jerseys so you couldn't figure out which kid was which. I spent most of the day reminding my husband why I was such a good catch by refusing to be pleasant, casting him the evil eye when I'd look at him at all, and generally being The Bitch Queen. He reminded me why I married him by being incredible patient and long suffering and NOT leaving me in Truckee to walk the 130 miles home. (And no, none of my bad mood had anything to do with hubby or my marriage - both which I appreciate even if I don't act like it some times).

Things did perk up in the evening when we managed to get home in time for dinner and a movie. We ate too much food inside a deliciously cool. air-conditioned coffee shop and then went to see Stardust, which only arrived at our local theatre that night. I was surprised that the seats were mostly unfilled for the show. I'd heard nothing but good things about it. We loved it. It was different from the book but I found nothing to complain about and in some spots I even thought the movie cleaned up a few weak plot moves in the original telling of the story.

Part of the fun was getting to see the village of Wall. As I've mentioned once or twice (or three or four) times before, William and I visited the village of Castle Combe WHILE the movie was being filmed. We even got to go inside Monday & Sons shop. The village plays an important role in the movie and there are quite a few scenes where you get to see quite a bit of it both at the beginning and end of the story. I kept grinning and thinking "I walked there!" and "I took a photo of that!" and "We went in that building!" I went to the movie last night thinking "I've been to Castle Combe." and I left the movie last night thinking "I've been to Wall!"


Blogger Blame It on Paris said...

Oh, dear. The travel decision. I can't help you! I want to go everywhere and see everything. But I discovered something, once I was in this Franco-American culture: we spend most of our travel time (and travel money) making sure my Parisian can spend some time each year with his country and family. I love his country and family, but of course we both have so many other places we would love to see, too. But there's only so much time, right? And we both still have so much fun in France.

All choices are good, though. Any place will be wonderful and fascinating.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Belita Rose said...

I vote paris! But you know if you don't want to go I will be happy to go for you! Or you know, maybe papa will really enjoy remodeling the kitchen, oh but that would be fun to. Oh I have a plan, you guys go to Paris. I'll come up to stay with William and remodel your kitchen while I'm there. Oh that would be grand!!!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

Ah, your travel plans sound wonderful!

As for the wall, I've had similar feelings lately so I sympathize. You don't come across as whiny in the least, and I wish you the best in breaking through it.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I vote travel ANYWHERE rather than remodel the kitchen. Responsible, humbug! Travel while you can...the kitchen will still be there when you get back and the world won't end if it's still in the same state it was when you left it for adventure!

I SO wish that movie would come to our local-ish theater.

9:08 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home