Monday, April 24, 2006

The Oracle of Starbucks

William and I watched a documentary series last night on..... some channel, whatever..... called American Made. This particular episode was about Starbucks. It was really interesting. So this morning we were looking for a world map of Starbucks locations. Couldn't find one unfortunately. We did find out though that there are about four hundred Starbucks in Great Britain, so that's a relief. Snicker. If we get tired of Earl Grey, we can grab a lovely Latte even in another country. Then we figured out that there are almost two thousand Starbuck stores in California, which we had already figured out, on another day of playing "use the computer to find out interesting trivia", was approximately the same geographic size as Great Britain, so that means we have four times the Starbucks saturation per square mile. I don't know the populations of both regions, so I can't tell you the percentage of Starbucks per person. Maybe you can do the math on that one.

ANYHOO..... We stumbled onto this site.

"Astrology is lame and Myers-Briggs is for losers. The omniscient Oracle of Starbucks can tell you everything about your personality by what you drink at Starbucks."

I typed in both my standard drink offer, and my hubby's, and it came up with silly answers that had enough truth in them to make it hysterically funny. Jeff's drink is a Americano Tall, which classified him as a pretentious asshat. I'm a Grande Vanilla Latte Half Caf Soy. (Yes, that's my standard drink) Here's what it had to say about that:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks Grande Vanilla Latte Half Caf Soy should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

****

So, what's your Coffee Personality Type?

4 Comments:

Blogger Deb R said...

For both my usual cold drink and hot drink orders, it says I'm clueless and should just stay home. :-D

1:31 PM  
Blogger Jaye said...

Well, it didn't really work for me;I don't think of myself as a freak, but that is just one opinion. My answer to the Oracle's question is: A. if I drank caffeine I would be more impossible to be around and B. the comfy chairs and no children, of course. Fun, though.

Personality type: Freak

No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.

Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water

2:40 PM  
Blogger JulieZS said...

Mine said I was clueless, and obviously didn't go to Starbucks much. Which is probably true. But then it went on to say I was a stripper that drank wine coolers which is SO wrong on both counts!

Oooh I like my secret password below pwoiz! What does that mean? Maybe William knows???

11:24 AM  
Anonymous joan b. said...

My personality??? Didnt expect this....I like my coffe real, so I just order a grande caffe latte or a cappucino.

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks grande cafe latte .

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

2:47 AM  

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