J is for....

Joseph - my firstborn. (well, Joshua was born first, but that's a bit complicated) When I held him in my arms, a tiny baby, my heart literally ached from loving him so much. Now he's 6'1" (he was 6'2" but lost an inch when he broke his back in a parachute jump this year) and in the Navy. Some days it takes my breath away at the thought of how quickly the years in between have flown by.

Joshua - my oldest son. My stepson, but those extra four letters (s-t-e-p) really didn't change how much I love him. All big ears and straight fly away hair and gorgeous eyes with this little mole just to one side, and a humor so dry that it would make your mouth pucker at the same time you were laughing. At 19, like a lot of 19 year olds, he thought he was invincible. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. I miss him every day.

Jeff - my goofy, sentimental, intellectual, directionally impaired, long suffering (to hear his side of things) husband. Our life has been the opposite of most folks - mainly high stress with only occasional moments of calm. It's amazing that we're still together when you think of all we've been through together, but we must be doing something right. Besides, I'm too lazy to break in a new spouse. And he still makes my coffee for me after all these years. Even if he can't remember that I don't, have never, had pierced ears. (smooch, I love you honey - I know you're reading this)

Josephine - two great ladies in my life - my paternal grandmother and my mother-in-law (now ex-MIL, but still a good friend)

Jeopardy - I love to watch this show. Does that make me a nerd?

joy - the older I get, the more I think of this experience as half of a whole. The yin-yang of pain and joy. It's a gift but also a responsibility. What, you say? A responsibility? Yep. It's our responsibility not to waste this life, this particular life, this time around the wheel. I believe that we dive in to the waters of life and it's up to us whether we sink or swim. If we don't do our part, we're a burden on others around us, and we're not very much fun to be around. So, it's our responsibility to be joyful. That doesn't mean, however, that I see it as a burden. Not at all. It's just up to us to express, let it out, create, shine. Joy is something we create for ourselves and share our overflow with others. We can't just sit around waiting for it to show up from the outside, sucking up other people's extra all the time, with no exchange or return.

January - many January birthdays - mine, my aunt, my grandmother and great aunt, several good friends, my sister

Jo - my middle name

jack-o-lanterns - Love Halloween, love everything associated with it!

jeans - I'm not a dress up sort of gal, as I'm sure I've mentioned in the past. I suspect I've spent a good percentage of my life in blue jeans.

jabberwocky - from Alice in Wonderland - the dictionary defines it as "meaningless speech or writing". When I was little my relatives often affectionately called me a jabberwocky.

just - a word I overuse in my blog. But I just can't seem to find another one that fits

Jill-of-all-Trades - the female equivalent of a Jack-of-all-Trades. I think of myself as this frustrating creature. On one hand it's great since I have an interest in everything under the sun - religion, geography, psychology, physics, linguistics..... everything is fascniating to me. (well, maybe not everything. Cars sort of bore me. I'm only interested in whether they run well and get good gas mileage - after that I can only muster up a mild interest. Yawwwn) And I can do most things I set my mind to well, or at least adequately. However I'm like a raven, always distracted by the next shiny idea or interest. So I'm good at everything, master of nothing. Sigh.

jade - I love green, so of course I like jade. I particularly like the California jade one finds in everything from sand to boulders along the coastline. Jasper is a pretty cool stone too, speaking of rocks.

jetsam - Definition: goods thrown overboard to lighten a ship in distress: such goods when washed ashore.

I like this word for several reasons. I think it's a good skill to have, to know when it's time to toss things from our life for our own good. Whether those things are ideas, people, or just plain ol' stuff, sometimes we have to know when it's necessary to let it go. Notice I didn't say it was a good skill I have, only that it's a good skill to have. I'm better at knowing when to let go of people or ideas, not so great at the letting go of stuff part, but I'm working on it.

And I like the second part of the definition too. It's an equally good skill to know how to find treasures washed up on the shore.

jigsaw puzzles - l love doing puzzles. I don't have the time to do them that often because once I start one I am obsessed with finishing it. I ignore everything - food, family, sleep - until that last puzzle piece snaps into place. My mom and daughter also love to do them so when we get together we usually think to put out a puzzle. During a particularly horrible period one summer, I got through about six weeks of deep depression by doing nothing much more then sleeping and doing jigsaw puzzles. Cheaper then drugs.

joie de vivre - I like this phrase. It comes in handy to dscribe so many different moments

jodphurs - one of my few very early memories is of feeling very, very smart looking in my camel colored jodphurs. I think I was less then two years old at the time.

johnny-jump-ups - one of my favorite flowers. It grows wherever it wants in my vegetable gardens but can't seem to keep a foothold in the flower gardens.

joiner - I used to be such a joiner! For some reason, the older I get, the less I feel the need to be a member of something. But I have a lot of wonderful memories from all the things I've done, people I've met, by jumping in and joining groups. Although, a few bad memories as well. Eh, that's just life.

journal - I've kept a journal/diary/blog/whatever, for as long as I could write

journey - I seem to take a lot of these, both the physical sort and the more abstract kind

juggle - I'm a mother of five, so I KNOW how to juggle. I often think of myself as that performer with all those plates spinning atop the tall poles. I think of myself as being as exhausted as that performer as well.

juicy - We should always be on the lookout for juicy things - whether it be a juicy peach or a juicy conversation or a juicy idea

junk - I've got a lot of it. I love it and hate it simultaneously.