Something is Really Bugging Me

Has anyone else noticed that this is the buggiest spring ever!?

Okay, so only a few of you live near enough to anwer that question with any degree of accuracy. Because obviously my weather isn't your weather in Connecticut or York or Auckland or Ohio or Montreal or Finland or San Diego. (Yep, I've got a real global readership!)

But take my word for it, it's been unusually, exceptionally buggy here. I know some of you live where bugs are regularly more of a problem. My childhood in the midwest was full of bugs. The northern woods are one of nature's Bugs 'R Us superstores. But here in the high and dry desert, we're spoiled by our less crowded air space. We're blessed with a relatively low bug population - well, the kind of bugs I'm talking about anyway, the kind that buzz around and want to share your meal or bite and make a meal of you - until a surge in the late summer and then it's only a matter of time until the first freeze gets rid of them until next year.

Just for the record, not all bugs bother me. There are good bugs. My husband just ordered three shipments of lady bugs for the garden. Generally we here at Chez Clutter live fairly contentedly with a small but regular cast of spiders, earwigs, roly poly bugs, and garden bugs. We ignore or sweep outside the friendly or innoccous creatures and use organic methods to take care of the less desirable ones.

This spring, however, bugs are everywhere. I can't sit down without being crawled on, flown over, or jumped off of - I'm beginning to feel like a large bug tourist attraction like the Empire State Building or the Eiffel Tower. I can't seem to keep a glass of tea bug free for more than a few minutes. I've started to automatically put little paper caps on all my beverages. Even with a sturdy cover, last night I found three bugs doing the backstroke in my iced tea.

Of course the cats try to drive out the swarms of evil invaders. They mean well, but their attack techniques leave much room for improvement. Ultimately, the result is that along with trying to protect ourselves from the bugs, we also have to protect ourselves from unexpected (and very fat and heavy!) leaping felines who race across our laps without warning (OOMPH!), knocking over beverages, books, and even large lamps in the process. Even Rosie got in on the act last night with a particularly loud flying what's-it. There are so many different kinds of bugs in my house that, despite being a nerdy, field guide loving type, I can't identify them all, except to say that they are all members of the Extremis Annoyicus family, some in the Gianticus subcategory, others in the Gnatinicus group.


The night before last (pre- capmaking) I made a glass of tea to take to bed with me and by the time I'd finished turning off lights, shutting doors, etc. and came back for it, it had a fly in it. I'm willing to pick out a tiny gnat and still drink something, but a fly - a big, juicy one at that - UGH. I dumped the tea down the drain. That was the last of the iced tea, so I grabbed a V-8 instead. (Hey! Doesn't that sound familiar?) I popped the top of the V-8 and it sprayed and fizzled. I was startled! V-8's aren't supposed to fizzle, are they? To be on the safe side I dumped it out and went in search of something else. The only thing left in the fridge was a small amount of white wine. I poured a couple inches into a glass and made it all the way back to the bedroom before I realized the cup, although I'd taken a new one from the cupboard, was dirty - the wine had a sandy bottom of unknown particles. It must have looked like a tropical beach though to the ant floating on the top. Dumped it. I found a bottle of juice in the pantry and poured myself a glass over ice and brought it to bed. Read a few pages, reached for the glass... gnats and what was probably a couple of cat hairs.

Is the universe trying to kill me by dehydration!!??

I drank a glass of water standing at the sink and called it a night.

Well, that's it. Complaining about bugs. Pretty lame topic, ain't it. But I've been letting the days slide past me without accomplishing a quarter of the work I'd hope to finish, so I need to get back to it and leave a more poetic post for another day.