Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Have You All Given Up on Me?

I've been ignoring my blog for a long time. Travel, busy, more travel, more busy. After a while, so much time passes that it feels like I should do something really good for my first post back. Intimidating.

And then there's Facebook. I've been sucked into Facebook life. It's so immediate! It's so easy! You should be my friend over on Facebook. You'll definitely hear from me more frequently. Not that you should stop reading my blog. Which I promise to be more attentive to from this point forward.

I also joined Twitter on the recommendation of a friend. Who, I notice, never Tweets. I can't quite figure out the appeal of Flicker. It doesn't seem as friendly as Facebook. It's not reciprocal. And it feels a bit voyeuristic, in a way reading someone's blog doesn't. I'm not sure why anyone would want to read my Tweets (when, ahem, they can read my updates on Facebook), but it's sort of become my "follow favorite authors" spot on the web and it's a fast way to get updates on blogs and other news. And it's not very time consuming (compared to sayyyyy, Facebook) so I'll keep at it for a bit.

I had two interesting dreams last night. In one, the family was all headed off for Faerieworlds when I suddenly realized I wasn't ready. Hadn't packed our costumes, didn't have our camping gear in the car. There was no time left to prepare. In the dream I was dashing about gathering necessities while simultaneously letting go of expectations. I think the dream reflects my whole life at the moment. I've got lots of pans in the fire and I'm determined to keep them all cooking but realistically it's too much. I'm not ready to give any of them up but I think I'm preparing myself for the point at which I'll have to accept my limitations.

The second part of the dream was set in one of a handful of recurring homes that I own or have lived in in my dreams. There's about three or four of them that I keep returning to over the years. They change or morph a bit, but the general style and geographic location stays the same. And although each of the homes are different from each other (one is a big Victorian (that doesn't exist in real life) on Main Street in a town I lived in as a small child, one is a rental house in a suburban neighborhood we used to live in as a family and return to (although this didn't ever happen in real life), one is my grandmother's old house (although it doesn't look like her real house did)and so on....) all of these "house dreams" have a similar quality to them that makes me categorize them together. I think of all these houses as representing me or my life, the dream allowing me to step aside and view myself or my situation from an outside perspective.

In last night's dream we (me, family, some friends) were going to do something, can't remember what now, and we were about to go off to find a place to do it when I suddenly remembered all this unused space in my house. All my dream houses have unfinished or unused spaces in them. Sometimes it's just empty space, sometimes it's scary space behind doors that frighten me and which I never willingly open. In this particular house it was just an entire second floor of living space we'd never finished off or used. I suggested we use this space and we all tromped upstairs and sat around a table talking about how this would work out fine and tossing out ideas on how to finish or decorate the space to work for our needs. Obviously the dream reflects my feeling that I'm finally working on parts of myself that I've left unused for a long time.

Thunderbirds Are Go is on the television. Does anyone else find these puppets mildly creepy? And the outfits they wear - uhm, at the very least, can we say "metrosexuals"?

I'm not sick (knock on wood) but I did feel under the weather all day. I spend several hours in the dentist chair yesterday and I've been pushing a full schedule lately. I think it just all caught up with me. Exhausted. Headache. Brain fog. I finally gave up and gave myself permission to have a day off. It's hard to let go of the need to be productive in any way.

Of course I didn't take off being a fashionista. My fluffy brown and white robe, black and gray skull leggings, and brightly striped slippers really pull off a look, doncha think? A look that says "That woman is sitting on her couch in the privacy of her own home."

That's about it for tonight. Time for tea, book, and bed. Tomorrow I hope I'm back up to speed as we've got fence posts to set. And blog posts to plan - lots of photos from my travels to share!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You called Twitter... "Flicker"

6:53 AM  

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