Random late night firings in my brain

I hate when this happens. I sit down to write a blog at night and what seemed so witty and philosophical just an hour or so ago suddenly seems.... what was I gonna say again? My brain gets all sleepy ahead of me, before my pajamas are on or my eyes are closed or my body is willing to go to bed. And I question my ability to spell much less make some critical or inspiring point on a subject matter.

Still, even a brain tired post is better then no post, yes?

Tonight I want to talk about a few things I've read on other blogs.... no, wait.

First I want to tell you about a commercial that was just on the television. It's for gum. I don't know what kind of gum. Old people's gum apparently. Because it shows these two old people in a car. You see them through the glass, it's raining so they're a bit blurry and hidden, but you can still tell that they're kissing. I guess the point is that no matter how old you are, with dentures and what not, you can still have kissable fresh breath after using this gum? Or maybe it's a commerical for denture creme. I'm really, really bad at product identification.

Whether gum or denture creme, clearly this commercial is supposed to appeal to someone my age. Someone OLD. (see yesterday's post where I turn OLD) It can't have been made to appeal to younger people because younger people either dismiss old people as unimportant or they're afraid of us. So, us old folks, we're supposed to like this commercial? Because, I don't. I feel angry at it. I see it and think - so, we can't just grow older and comfy in our old bodies anymore? Noooo, we're supposed to still be worried about being sexy and hip and desirable. The commercial annoys me. It doesn't inspire me to buy their product so I too can kiss in a car. It inspires me to flip the bird at my television set.

Okay, I'll stop channeling a crabby old bat.

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Over on Crazy Aunt Purl, a post a few days ago, she talks about a plan to avoid purchasing nonessentials for three months as a way to pay off some longstanding debt. It's surprising how many places and people I'm bumping into with a parallel idea of sorts. Perhaps it's just an annual tradition and I've not noticed it before this. I came to a similar conclusion about a week or so ago. Not quite as grand as abstaining from all nonessential purchases, my thought was to simply cut down on how many of them I make.

For example, for some time now I've been averaging a Starbucks purchase a day. At least. If you count in the number of times I buy a coffee for both myself and my hubby, I'm sure we average more then a latte a day. I then figured out that just one latte a day (grande, soy) adds up to $1460 a year!!!! No wonder Starbucks is such a successful company. And I'm not even considered a heavy consumer, if you can believe that. A friend of mine, she mentioned that her son averages two frappuccinos a day. You do the math.

This is insane, especially since at least a third of the time I'm not even sure I really want or need a Starbucks but I still go and purchase it just in case I later regret going home without one. I decided that if I just cut down to one or even two Starbucks a week, I could still enjoy the treat, the aromatic, cultural experience of the coffee house, and yet save myself about a thousand dollars that I could then use to do something even more fun then caffeine - like, say, a plane ticket someplace far away or even exotic. Ditto for dining out. If I cut out half the number of times I eat out instead of cooking at home, I could pay for a second plane ticket and bring my hubby along on the trip!

*****

Over on Mad Organica, Madness Rivera is having a crisis over what direction to take in her life this year. It's definitely the time of year for this sort of thing, isn't it. All us women trying to angst out all the major questions in life because it's the start of a new year. We haven't had time yet to realize we'll all just muddle through this one just like we did last year, and the year before that, and the year before that... Not that some of us won't reach new goals. I'm not being pessimistic. Just realistic - life is mostly about muddling through. I'm old now so I can say things like this with the experience and wisdom of a half a century behind me.

Of course it's also true that at fifty years of age I'm still trying to find my own direction, still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. But this year, because I'm now old and wise remember, so far I've managed to skip over a lot of the angsting process. As soon as I realize I'm doing it, I start to feel a bit silly. I find myself thinking - I don't have time for this! - and then I find something more productive to do instead. Maybe not something important, but at least in some small way productive. I might as well have a clean kitchen sink or folded clothes while I work out the greater mysteries of my purpose here on this planet.

*****

I've been reduced to turning to The Weather Channel while I wrap up this post and get ready to go off to bed. I've got the sound turned low and I'm not really watching it, except that they keep showing people talking while standing out in the snow. The snowflakes catch my attention and each time I take a quick look, the words on the bottom of the screen announce the person is standing some place different - Kalama, WA or New York City or Helsinki. Why is it snowing everywhere but here?! We've had, accumulatively, about an inch of snow ALL SEASON.

I know some of you are now talking to me through your computer monitors, offering to switch places with me from some snowbound other place. Sorry. It's always greener on the other side of the fence. Er..... whiter?

I just went outside. Rosie was standing by the front door whining. Little dog means little bladder. Anyway, it was so cold when I took her out there a few hours ago that I remembered to grab a blanket to wrap myself up in before I took her out this time. I was still cold. According to the weather channel we're supposed to be having snow AT THIS VERY MOMENT. We're not. It's cold because there's no cloud cover. The sky is black and the stars are twinkling overhead and the dry grass is sparkly and crunchy with frost underfoot.

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This new heater, I'm adjusting to it but it still feels odd to have such a warm house. And by warm, I don't mean "grandma's house warm". Have any of you shared that experience? Where you go to visit an older relative - say your parents or grandparent's house - and they have the house so hot that every half hour of so you have to run outside and drink in deep gasping breaths of fresh air? Well, we don't have the house that hot. In fact the little thermometer we have in the livingroom, which is the warmest room in the house even now, shows the temperature in here is just above 60 degrees. I'm not gonna get up and look at it straight on to read it accurately, but it looks like maybe 62 degrees. In the day it averages about 64 or 65 degrees. The bedrooms are slightly cooler. That's probably still cooler then most of you keep your homes, right?

But compared to our woodstove, it's surrealistically warm. I'm not used to this even temperature thing. I'm used to it being warm when the fire is being stoked, and waking up or walking into a house that's chilly until one starts a new fire. I'm used to it being a lot colder in the bedrooms. I'm used to having a sense of whether it's warm or cold outside by how the house feels inside. Part of me likes this new indulgent lifestyle of a warm house. Another part of me feels uncomfortable with the ease of it.

I still miss the quiet of the woodstove. And the smell of a fire. I miss the type of warmth a woodstove gives off when it's been made properly - not sure how to describe the difference but those of you who have ever heated with wood before know what I mean. One thing I don't miss is the dirt and mess of a daily fire. No more wood chips and ash to sweep up every day around the woodstove.

Well gee, look at that - it's now the wee hours of the morning. Where does time go when one is rambling on about nothing terribly important? Guess it's time to say goodnight.

Goodnight.